Sausage Thighs

Sausage Thighs

Sometime around early high school, in the middle of my vending-machine diet, I decided my legs didn’t look good in shorts. Not only did they not look good, but my thighs looked like amorphous, mushy sausages. Yuck. No more shorts! For 20 years, I only owned 2 pairs of workout shorts.

Yes, I hated sitting all stiff and ladylike in my summer skirts, but I wasn’t about to parade my sausages all over town. Over the years, my body would fluctuate between a size 6 and a size 10. During my smaller phases, I’d sometimes try on trendy, non-workout shorts. But the sausage thighs persisted.

In 2010 I went Paleo and accidentally lost 30 pounds. Maybe it was shorts time again!?! I tried on probably 30 pairs, to no avail. Guess I just hadn’t lost enough weight to make my legs look ok in shorts. I felt sad but was mostly ok with that. 

Then last summer I was shopping for pencil skirts, and the size 2 was too big. I was shocked to ask the sales person of they could bring me a —gulp— size ZERO?!? In my mind, I was definitely NOT a size zero. No matter what the tags had said, I my size had always been too big.

The zero fit perfectly.

Naturally, I bought two of them.

Then it hit me. THERE IS NO SIZE SMALLER THAN A ZERO. I was the smallest I would ever get. If there was ever a time in my life to wear shorts, it was now! I decided to try shifting my perspective to see if I could learn to like what I saw in the mirror.

Conveniently, a friend of mine was getting rid of her bright blue cutoffs. I love blue, and they were free! I took them home, put them in my drawer, and would occasionally peek at them and say hi.

After a while, I wore them around the house & didn’t think they looked all that bad maybe. I tried them on with at least 20 shirts before I mustered the courage to wear them to the neighborhood grocery store- not Whole Foods where I might run into someone I know. The entire time, I was certain everyone was grossed out by my legs. I wore the cutoffs on a hike with a friend who said she thought my legs looked perfectly fine. I began to believe it.

Then I fell in love with a pair of lace shorts I saw in a magazine and decided I needed a pair. The dressing room experience was torture. I tried on various sizes, styles & colors but didn’t like what I saw in the mirror. My thigh hatred ran deep. I felt angry, sad and ashamed that I couldn’t summon any lacey-shorts love. Then I tried to see my body objectively, as I would a stranger’s. A little better maybe… I bought them anyway.

The first time I wore my adorable new lace shorts, I had a friend snap this pic. It took time and patience, but I’ve grown to love the way my body looks. Sausage thighs and all.

You can learn to love your body no matter what number is on your tag.

Lace Shorts

Italian Sausage Backyard Barbecue May 1, 20101 pic licensed under Creative Commons